AHH......MEMORIES....MEMORIES........

I am getting fat and I am lazy enough to be doing nothing about it except for feeling sorry and dream of the past .
There is upcoming storm .... I am mentally preparing myself to face it .

Still there . Went to watch the movie SAAT KHOON MAAF today . If you haven't noticed already , I have started using hand drawn cartoons ... now onwards I will be using mixed media , i.e. hand drawn and paint drawn cartoons for my blog . Watched the movie Paranormal Activity at night after dinner .
Will be leaving for home early tomorrow morning ....

At my brother's house to celebrate his 25th birthday . Came along with my sister ... we gifted him a Fast Track wrist watch . By the way , recovery is going pretty well .

If you eat a spoon of bitter medicine after you have had sweet , it tastes a whole lot more bitter . It was an usual day today , only more boring .... relatively speaking ... one thing is that I realized suddenly there is a lot of free time on my hands it seems .

To quote a famous poet :

Is it a vision or a waking dream ?
Fade is that music , do I wake or sleep ?

Brother's marriage ended in fine style .... was so busy these few days that I was not able to make blog entries properly ... so I had made dummy posts which I will fill up later . Had a very nice time together with my favorite cousins .... hoping to come out of the mishap soon .

Lot to write but running short on time right now so I am waiting for the weekend .. .

A mishap has happened ........... hoping to recover soon . Though this has got me grounded , still , I got a lot of work to do ....today there is another related ceremony .

It is up , it is up , it is up ....!!!! Tried an experimental four strip cartoon form  .... that is the only new thing today  , if I get good at doing this , soon I will convert this blog to a comic strip .... keeping hopes high .

Very busy .. today is my elder brother Rudra's marriage .

At my uncle's house .. will be staying here this weekend ... occasion : My brother Rudra's marriage .

An evening of music and fine dining ..... party at Sonnet hotel . Beautiful jazz by Michel and his troupe .

I wish I could open up my brain like a piece of machinery , like ... say ... a car engine , to release some heat from so much impotent anger and other similar impotent emotions .. .The day ended bad ... and since all is well that ends well and the ending is not fine ... so is not the day . Hope tomorrow is better .

Office day went just as usual ( I have decided to stop mentioning this from tomorrow , I will only mention office if something noteworthy happens .) . A nice thing happened on the way home . There is a little group of gentle men who gather around during dusk and play chess in the light coming from a nearby temple  . Now chess is my  THE most favorite game and I am crazy about it , so naturally I stopped to take a look ... an exciting endgame was going on ... and I kept watching ... When the game was over , they invited me to play and I was very happy to have been given a chance ... it was so nice of them . I rarely get playing partners , so I am out of practice for quite some time now , so I lost the first game very quickly and stupidly , but then I went on to win the second game . I left after that , with an invitation to come and play again.
My brother , his wife and mom and dad have come to stay , so chatted with them after dinner , had a very nice time chatting with my girlfriend , over the phone . Now I am off to sleep .... overall the day was normal , the night good so far .... that is not bad if an average is taken .. anyways .. wont keep you up anymore . Good Night .

Due to disturbance in signal , your favorite cartoon will not be hosted today .... ha ha ... just kidding , feeling very sleepy so just quickly put something together .... now I am off to sleep ..my day today was good , hope the night is as well .... Good Night :)

Today is valentine's day . Yesterday night ended on a sad note for me and as a result a major part of my morning was ruined ... fortunately , some work came up and I was able to bury myself in it .
I feel bad that I am not able to give HER company today and she was sad as well ... I sent her gifts but those too did not reach on time .

I also felt lonely today .... this feeling of loneliness is increasing and this is having an impact ....I desperately need to change things in my life .... it is getting rather dreary .

Oh well , spring is almost here and as we all know ... spring is the season of life and I , am hopeful .

The day was as usual , GATE exam was so so .... that is , not too good , not too bad , I have no hopes of cracking it though .
Everything was going fine until night and then boom .... something happened and my depression is back again ... it is as if my happy life is a picture drawn on canvas which covers the picture of depression .
This is getting rather tiresome , these frequent bouts of depression , this constant switching between moods .... these are taking their toll .... I have become easily irritable , angry , and there is a restless feeling .. a feeling of dissatisfaction .... if this goes on , then very soon I am going to explode and that is not going to be something pleasant.. I do not know of any preventive measures but I hope I find it .
Tonight is going to be almost sleepless again I think .... if it is so , it will be very bad as I have stupid office tomorrow ... I am fed up of living like this ....
Desperately wanting a change ..!!

Tomorrow I am going to sit for the GATE exam which is the doorway to M.Tech degree etc. and the situation is totally ridiculous . I do not know anything as I have not prepared . How could I ... tell me .... how could I , with spending 12 hours at office every day , coming back and cooking , washing etc ... and this life for 2 years ... 2 years of detachment from formal academic education makes it really hard to concentrate in studies like I used to do 2 years ago . This is the first time in my life I am going for an exam totally unprepared , just blindly pursuing the exam .... I feel ashamed and guilty .

Today was uneventful , spent the day at home .. at night , we had an invitation to a marriage celebration at a nearby neighbor's .. so went there for dinner .. the food was very good .

My girlfriend is very talented in ways that I like very much ... I am starting to understand that she is very creative deep down , but that creativity is covered by years of disuse .. I plan to bring them out again , I plan to help her pursue what she dreams ... instead of rotting in the stupid job that we are doing now . She showed me a piece of clay pottery that she was working on .. and it was so so beautiful .

It seems that adding cartoons to the blog was really a good idea ... now my blog literally has endless hues ..... and better still I am finding very less problem to draw the cartoons using paint .. I do not know about anyone else but my girlfriend loves them very much :)

Saturday night .... ohhhhhhhh yeah ............. but nooooooooooooooooooo not the usual long night of enjoyment ... got to study a bit today , so , signing off for now .... Good Night .
Today

Today was just another usual day but that also meant that it was a reason to be happy , because yesterday was worse .... and moreover today was happier than the average day because
TODAY is FRIDAY !!
and the main reason is , today I had an absolutely wonderful time , talking to my girlfriend .... one of the few people with whom I can be myself without any second thoughts . The night is going nice so far and I have full confidence that it will continue to be so ..... though nothing new has happened so to speak of ..... the color and smile have returned in my life .

Haunted by the demon of depression (for which there are lots of reasons to draw its strength from) my morning was the worst morning I had in the last six months and it left me such a wreck that my entire day was gray but then things started looking up as I had a very very lovely gift from my very very very lovely sweetheart and so some of the color returned .

Just another usual day at office and back at home .... the only new thing is that this is the first cartoon I have drawn ever in my life and my blog ... so this is supposed to be me .... Hello Me , ha ha , not very well versed with MS Paint so I guess it is a bit .... well .... more than a bit I guess .. off kilter but I am sure to improve .

By the way I am feeling very guilty .... but I will not be able to disclose the reason before 13th Feb.

Busy day today .... because , today is Saraswati puja . I love it that the puja happens in our house every year . Got involved in doing all the religious ceremonies and rituals as a result I opted out for office today .
Went out with my brother to have pizza in the evening .
Nothing eventful happened after coming home up-to now that I am writing this entry ..... and I hope nothing will , because , I am going to sleep .
Have a plan to make irish coffee at home , but problem is , I do not know where to get good original irish whiskey ... well we'll see .
Over all ...... it was a bright day but there have been brighter days .

What to say .. what to say .. what to say ?? well , nothing I guess .... wait wait .. let me think again .... yup I'm sure I really do not have anything to say ... bye then , hope you had a better day .

Went to the book-fair yesterday . Bought :

1. The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing
2. My Autobiography by Charles Chaplin
3. A Kaleidoscope

My friend maddy was also there , we carried our cameras along , and did some photography as well . Went to ChinaTown to have food . China town is an area in Kolkata where there is a large chnese population . Had food in a hotel called Beijing ...... will be posting shortly .

Today was uneventful .. relaxed at home , went out inthe evening with mom and sis to buy idol for saraswati puja that is there day after tomorrow.

Monday tomorrow...and again hateful office ... only one good thing , the weeks are just flying !!

Will tell tomorrow.

Seems like my rainbow was premature .... the clouds are back again .... and though I love the rain , it sometimes gives me the blues when it becomes incessant ..... Oh well , today is Friday night , and what is more , it is still young , two more cups of coffee , a pen and a diary and it wont hurt getting wet ..... without an umbrella :)

P.S. there was mild earthquake at around 7pm today ... I was in office at that time , the alarm was sounded , and the office building was evacuated . ..... Hmmmm I wonder how I missed mentioning it out before .. :)

TOMORROW IS FRIDAY .... Am I happy or what .. :) :) !! of course it is the night that I am happy about ... unless something happy happens during the day :) :)

The weeks , it seems , are just flying . The book fair is ending next Saturday , so I am planning to go one last time for this year . I am back to writing and reviewing full fledged , so much so that my mind is occupied most of the time .

Today was a usual day .... the only thing notable were
1. I wrote my second short story titled : The replacement nurse.
2. The dinner today .

Spoke with some old friends , over the phone , on my way back from office .

Life , it seems , is going good for now ....

Cntrl C + Cntrl V of a day :( :(